How to eat an elephant…
Published June 21, 2009 | 
A friend of mine has recently been widowed and this has, understandably, pushed her into an unthinkable world of ‘how will I cope’. Another friend’s husband had a stroke and the resulting effects are likely to be life-long. A third pal has a handicapped child who will need care throughout her life. Another friend has debt problems. Others have relationship difficulties. These are great mountains indeed. In fact even without such major complications to deal with in life, for many, there are daily accumulations of small problems, building up and up until something comes along as the ‘final straw’ to our ability to cope.
These are times when problems can seem so huge, they are impossibly insurmountable. There is no solution, no way to ‘be’.
I’m not about to make light of any of the problems described. They are grim and they are real. However, when the future looks impossible and the task of living is so very hard – how do you function? Well, it’s the answer to the age-old riddle: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. One second at a time, then one minute a time, then one hour, one day – living and making the best decisions and actions that you can manage at each given moment.
And even without the ‘big’ life problems to tackle, it’s easy to let our fears and imagination, create elephants which perhaps, aren’t really elephants. Have you created any large grey animals lately? Could they, in fact, be deconstructed and turned into bite-sized problems which may turn out, after all, to be tackle-able?
People tell me about the knots in their stomachs and we sometimes metaphorically pull them out and look at them. Usually the description is about the knot being comprised of a tangle of all sorts of small problems grouped together in a horrible mass…….and they just need to be untangled and dismantled and the knot begins to go away, because separated, the problems look smaller and able to be tackled.
If you have a mountain to climb and no helicopter, then it’s just going to have to be one step at a time. So break the problems down into smaller separate ‘steps’ or ‘elephant bites’ – and work out what is in your power to tackle. Then decide which is the first small action you can take that will make a difference….and off you go. Remember, no elephants! They mess up the butter in the fridge with their footprints anyway.
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All Sorts, Animals, Debt Problems, Decisions, Elephant, Elephants, Fears, Final Straw, Handicapped Child, Imagination, Knot, Knots, Mountains, Relationship Difficulties, Riddle, Stomachs, Stroke, Tangle, Time One | 
Leave a commentThat Elusive Self-Motivation
Published June 1, 2009 | That Elusive Self-Motivation
Why do anything? Let’s just play Solitaire, fiddle about on Facebook and get some snacks and coffee. Yay. Then let’s spend ages creating a really beautiful To Do List, perhaps involving lovely boxes, pretty colours and marvellous fonts. Oh and there’s a TV programme to clear off Sky Plus, so it would be good to release the space, eh? Hey, and it’s time for another coffee now!
Oh, the wonderful world of trivia and excuses – it’s endless!
So, if you’re someone who could run a Masterclass in putting things off – here are some food-for-thought morsels for you:
Some people are very ‘towards’, very goal-oriented. They figure out what they want, prioritise it effectively and then go-go-go until they reach the goal. Go them!
On the other hand, some of us are more ‘away from’ – ie motivated much more by what will happen if we don’t do something! What are the consequences of NOT doing the task? Hmm. Stick or carrot. Pleasure or pain. Forward towards the goal, or away from the consequences of not doing it?
Perhaps even more basic would be why you want/need to do the task anyway. Why is it important at all? What’s the result of doing it/not doing it – and which of these are bigger for you?
Here’s a few more questions, whilst we’re about it:
If there’s a problem stopping you from getting the task done – what are your limitations in solving it? Can you solve it? What do you need? Get it. Sort it. Organise your world to be able to have everything required. Good.
You may also need to take into account your best time of day for working (I’m a morning girl on the whole)…and protect that time. It’s not a new idea (check out Brian Tracy’s words) but tiny little distractions WILL keep on appearing all day long to steal away your attention and time, if you’ll let them (‘ping’ there’s a new tweet… ‘ring’, there’s a call…….now emails, and the post..visitors…lunch..). So create a cocoon and a really effective working environment that’s right for you. I have to have peace and quiet and no disturbances and need to work at a computer. My son likes loud drum and bass music and has to walk around constantly, to generate his creative processes!
So, if you’ve worked out why it’s important for you to achieve the goal….you’ve created the right environment, resources and time of day for you…..what else might be in the way?
Well, you’ll need to be clear in your mind as to what you have to do and how to do it! Clarity is key!
If you’re not clear – it’s not going to flow. I went on a film-writing weekend years ago and the teacher said that he didn’t write one single word of the actual script until he’d worked out every character, every nuance, every scene, every detail – and once it was all crystal clear in his mind, he said the script wrote itself. Ooh, I like it.
Then, another great hurdle can be that whole thing of ‘where’ to start. Well how about this – it probably doesn’t matter. ‘Poke holes’ in the problem. If it’s a tricky letter that you’re blocked in writing – then maybe start with the envelope and a stamp. Good start. Ok – how about topping the letter with the address, date and Dear xxx greeting. Done. See what I mean about poking holes? The problem shrinks a little with every little bit you can do…and looks easier and more achievable as a result. It’s the same metaphor by another name as that one about the big and scary Elephant, too large to tackle. So ask yourself the age old question: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time. Every bite counts so get stuck in, anywhere and shrink the elephant calorie by calorie.
One of the last aspects to mention here is that some people can focus more easily on self and on the task – and others of us are much more motivated by doing things for other people. If you’re one of the latter (my hand’s up!) then find a reason to do the work to please others. Eg When the task is completed, I can spend quality time with other people….or donate some of the income from it to a charity etc etc. Make it about other people to create your own motivation factor. When I took my brown belt grading in karate, it was so gruelling that I got to the stage where I couldn’t dig any deeper and began not to care what damage I personally received (ouch)…so the instructor turned it around and made another person that was grading suffer whenever I failed a task. Oh dear. That was MUCH more motivating for me. Double ouch.
Finally, Roald Dahl (brilliant writer) had a firm belief in giving oneself treats. Not too many, mind – and not too lavish, probably. But we all like rewards and treats (well, I do) and so think of one and then do something to deserve it!
Now, enough of reading blogs. Make a comment below if you want – and then go and get on with your most important task without any further delay. If not for you, then do it for me? Go on!
Posted in Uncategorised | Best Time, Boxes, Brian Tracy, Carrot, Cocoon, Consequences, Distractions, Facebook, Fiddle, Food For Thought, Lunch, Masterclass, Morning Girl, Morsels, Pleasure, Self Motivation, Snacks, Solitaire, Time Of Day, Wonderful World | 1 Comment