Soft Skills, Hard Cash

I’m specialising more and more in helping people convey their message and their value to the world (see www.nowpresenting.co.uk).  It’s become vital.  You know how you decide in nano-seconds when you land on a web page, whether to stay and read on…or click away?  Well it’s getting just like that with people too!  The world is so busy-busy, fast-paced….and we’re all so overwhelmed with emails, pitches, networking, meetings and so on – that I think we’re increasingly exhibiting the ‘horns or halo’ selection process.  That’s when someone (eg an interviewer) decides in the first 20 seconds, whether they dislike you from the outset (you have horns from then on, you devil) or they immediately find a soft spot for you (ping…you have a halo)…and thereafter they spend the time deleting everything about you that doesn’t fit with their initial impression!  So if they were interviewing for someone with people/communication skills and liked you on sight…when you said you’d lived in a lighthouse for 10 years – they would find a way to dismiss that, mentally!

It’s not just people going for interviews that have to find a way to convey their message and their value, quickly and effectively….it applies to networkers, pitchers and presenters too.  Actually, it applies to everyone in their personal life as well as business – we all need to be authentic, influential and persuasive!  It turns out that these soft or interpersonal skills of communication and rapport success…..are absolutely the key strengths to have.  Even Harvard University sets 80% store on soft skills and 20% on hard skills for business success.  Ultimately, soft skills equal hard cash.  So society’s emphasis on focusing all the time on educating, valuing and gaining ‘hard skills’ and graduating with science/maths/engineering degrees etc, doesn’t necessarily equip us to then be able to convey our expertise to those who need to know about it.  How many intelligent, talented people do you know who aren’t very good at relating their worth to others?

I spoke to recruitment agencies and they backed this up too.  They can send several candidates for the same job – and one can have an outstanding CV…however, inevitably, the candidate with the greatest soft (‘people’) skills is the one who gets chosen.  People buy people.

If you’re not great at getting across the right message in the right words in the right way, ask me.   jane at nowpresenting.co.uk   It’s a skill we ALL need to have under our belt!

Effective Communication Skills Essential for Success

The older I get, the more convinced I am that conflicts and unhappiness, lack of success and misunderstandings all stem from poor communications.    Much of my work is with parents and teens – and if that’s not a situation where communication can be strained, I don’t know what is!   I’m also called to assist with difficulties in business situations – easing tensions and conflict or helping people to be able to get their message across clearly and well, in a way that’s memorable.  Public speaking ease – presentation confidence.  I love to train in these areas.

When I’m asked to coach teenagers, the first and most important thing I have to do, is get in rapport with them.  I have a variety of techniques which include my Fridge of Delight (a large red fridge from which my clients can help themselves), an Xbox (if you don’t speak Xbox, you may have a long time getting in rapport with some of our youngsters!) and a full sized tipi in the garden.  I also dress in jeans when coaching youngsters and often introduce them to one of my own hairy, relaxed sons.  The coaching doesn’t have to take place face to face in a formal office – we can walk and talk and even be on a trampoline.  As long as we’re in rapport, we’re off and running!  This doesn’t just apply between adults and youths though – remember to take the time to be in rapport with anyone before trying to get across your message and/or receive theirs.  It’s what makes the world go round!

Dealing with difficult people is challenging and exhausting!

As an NLP coach, I meet many people who ‘put up’ with unpleasant work or living situations, just because it’s easier and marginally less painful for them to ‘back down’ than actually deal with confrontation of any kind. Standing up to bullies is very stressful – and stressful situations can cause anxiety, sleeplessness, days off work and worse. If you place people into one of these 4 behaviour categories, which are you:

Assertive (you’re ok and can have your opinions AND I’m ok and can have mine, even if they don’t agree with yours! Hey – we’re both ok!)

Aggressive (I’m ok, my opinions are right, you’re in the wrong if you don’t agree, you idiot!)

Submissive (I’m not ok…you choose for me, I’ll go along with whatever you think is best…if that’s ok with you?)

Depressive (No one is ok, it’s all sh*t, what’s the ruddy point?)

Instead of accepting that we can all have our own opinions (ie be in the Assertive category), the Aggressive bullies can force others into the Submissive category…just to keep the peace.  What tiresome people they are.  Who do you know who HAS to be right, who can never be in the wrong?  If it’s your boss or someone you have to work with – that’s a challenge, right?!

* Learn how not to take things PERSONALLY!
* What to do about anxiety and stress
* Eliminate dread, remain confident
* Keeping your cool when others are losing theirs
* Creating Win Win situations
* Learn life long tools for dealing with conflict

Of course, you’re also welcome to contact me for tips and ideas about your own particular situation, if you’re having to deal with such challenges.  Oh my!

Interpersonal Skills Training for Co.s

Marketing Mishap!

I recently made a basic error.  I thought of a new training programme that would be wonderful for businesses.  It’s “Positivity Training” – eg Positivity Telesales and so on.  I’m a very upbeat sort of person (annoyingly so, my husband thinks sometimes!) and as I already offer ‘interpersonal skills training’ for businesses, this seemed a natural progression.  I could help other companies have very positive staff and put a spring in their step at work!

So….I set about creating a nice little icon design representing Positivity (a fancy sort of cross really) and crafted out a whole Positivity Training spiel.  I expect I spent getting on for a week excitedly creating the wording, the marketing material layouts, a webpage, costings and so on.

Then…and only then….did I take on some advice from an SEO expert pal of mine, Marc P Summers (Monkeydesignhouse.com).  Check out the Google Adwords site, he said, and just find out how many people are looking for Positivity Training and the related words.  Oh ok, said I, tapping merrily away on my computer – only to find out that NO-ONE is looking for this.  Not a soul.  It’s simply not on companies’ radars!

I had spent a week of my busy business’ time, wasting it on creating a ‘product’ that no-one wants.  Actually it gets worse.  When you do put Positivity or Positive or Positive Results and similar such words into Google Adwords – it shows that the only people doing so are those interested in finding out about just two topics: Pregnancy or Aids.

Oh.  Smack on the head, Jane.   I had put everything you-know-what about face.  Instead of starting with a marvellous new product and trying to persuade an unwilling world to love it – I should have started the other way round, ie  What are the public looking for?  What can I offer that fills a need?  What’s the existing problem for which I can offer a solution?  Durr.

It was back to the drawing board with the realisation that companies are indeed looking for customer service training and/or interpersonal skills training (both of which I can and do offer)….and so, into the ‘bin’ went my nice little Positivity icon, never to see the light of day!

Note to self:  a (so-called) bright idea is not enough – and there’s no substitute for a bit of research to see what your customers actually want!